Additional information on therapy related to gender identity

Answers to frequently asked questions.

We can only see as far as we can see from where we stand right now, our future isn't knowable until we get there and may not be what we imagined

I only see adults in my practice, however I have experience with offering therapy to concerned parents and other family members who may wish for education and support regarding a loved one who is a trans identified youth or adult. I also have particular expertise in working with couples who are navigating a spouse's coming out as transgender or non binary and am very familiar with the need for understanding and validation of each partner's perspective on both sides of the relationship.

Please be aware that I no longer accept requests for letters of referral for medical providers as this has a tendency to change the context for the therapy relationship in a way that limits my role to that of a facilitator of medical transition rather than allowing me to provide holistic therapy that I prefer to offer to all of my clients, and that is not exclusively focused on gender identity issues. I will however communicate as needed with other mental health providers who may be involved in providing assessments and/or referrals.

I respect the autonomy of all my clients to ultimately make their own important life decisions and do not directly advise any adult client on the issue of whether or not they should pursue social or medical transition. For some this may already be in process, however I will in all cases promote the use of psychotherapy to achieve deeper awareness of oneself including one's motivations to transition within a larger developmentally informed context, so that my clients can engage in informed decision making in this area as needed with me acting as a trusted guide, but without the distraction of my playing the role of a gatekeeper.

Due to my many years of clinical experience, and my understanding of the very real risk of unanticipated outcomes that can lead to future regret and/or increased emotional distress, I encourage respect for the realistic limitations of how transition may benefit an individual or not, as well as being aware of possible harms, especially with respect to longer term outcomes for sexual function, and how this may affect intimate partnerships and other relationships. As my former mentor likes to say, you are the captain of your ship, and your job is to try not to run it into the ground, and my job is to try to help you with that task by offering my clinical knowledge and wisdom.

And for those who do come to have regret for their transitions, I welcome the opportunity to assist in developing your capacity to find resilience and a path forward regardless of the fact that there is no going back completely to recover what might have been. Some lessons can only be learned by lived experience, and self forgiveness for what we can only see in hindsight is key to your recovery and moving forward as best you can. I know from my work with cancer survivors and being a survivor myself that grief has no timeline and that resilience doesn't just happen with time, it is something we cultivate by accepting support from others who have similar experiences as well as seeking guidance with a professional therapist.

If there are any questions that I may not have answered here, please feel free to ask them directly during a free telephone consult that I offer to all new referrals, once you have completed a telephone intake through my office administrator.